My son and his fiance’ are getting married in May and start pre-marriage counseling tonight. Since it’s Valentine’s Day, I find it fitting. The couple they’re meeting with have been married over 50 years, so they have street cred on what it takes to have a great love story.
My 30th anniversary is coming up this fall, and if I had to give any advice on how to sustain love, I’d boil it down to one thing.
What you feed grows.
The more you feed love, the more love grows.
Seems so simple, right?
But it takes a deliberate choice at times.
In 1991, Tom and I bought our first home. He was heading to the hardware store to pick up a few things, so I asked him to purchase a vacuum. I was very particular about what kind I wanted: lightweight, able to clean hardwood floors, and not an upright.
Back then, upright vacuums were too heavy for me, and I hated pushing the bulk around.
When Tom returned, he was so proud of the powerful Dirt Devil he bought. It would suck up more filth than I ever imagined.
It was also an upright.
Every time I vacuumed, I muttered under my breath about his insistence to get power in a heavy machine. He never listens to me. Why did I marry someone who doesn’t listen? Why do men always get their way? Don’t I matter?
The questions led to imagining life without him. If I were single, I could buy whatever vacuum I wanted. (Take that!) Life would be less complicated.
In the middle of my rant, I heard a still small voice. “Where your treasure is, there your heart will be.”
I sensed God was the one whispering, so I stopped the vacuum.
“Where your treasure is, your heart will also be.” He repeated.
You mean my thoughts affect my heart? (I’m surprised I didn’t hear a duh.)
“That’s exactly what I mean. Concentrate on what you love about Tom, not what frustrates you. Your heart will feel more love.”
Somewhat reluctantly, I tried it. I wasn’t quite ready to be done with my pity party, but it was God asking.
I recalled all the qualities that made me fall in love with Tom. As I resumed vacuuming, I thanked God for him. I stated how I loved Tom’s patience, his humor, how hard he works, and every other quality that came to mind. By the end of the chore, I couldn’t wait for Tom to come home. My pendulum swung from wanting to leave to wanting to show him some love.
As I fed love, I felt love.
Tom and I have seen this principle work time and time again. It works for all relationships.
When you feed love and make deposits as often as you can, there is more to draw from when times get tough.
Are there days we have to choose to feed the positive rather than the negative? Absolutely, but it’s worth the effort. The heart shift has beneficial results.
You can feed love many ways. Positive encouragement, acts of service, physical touch, gifts, patience, and forgiveness are just a few. Different seasons may require different deposits, but any effort is worthwhile.
What are the ways you feed love?
Comment below or on Facebook. I love hearing them!
Have a great week, and deposit a little love.